OK, so last night I went to a chick flick. I knew it had received bad reviews, therefore should have expected all I got and don't have the right to vent. But I'm doing so anyway.
The movie: He's Just Not That Into You (HJNTIY) playing in the local suburban theater. The audience: all the pre-teen kids in the neighborhood (or so it felt) and us - Annette, me, and a friend. There was a smattering of other grown-ups but we were in the minority.
The back-drop: From the kids - kicks, giggles and ushers escorting selected parties out for behavior. From the adults - Sshhes and hisses - completely ignored, of course.
The basic premise: women are pathetic and desperate, and men are inconsiderate commitment phobes. This theme was foreshadowed by a preview of a movie that appeared to be a cross between Fatal Attraction and The Hand that Rocked the Cradle. The preview showed a crazed woman vindictively chasing a happily married guy. The twist? She is very blonde and he is African-American. This being the movies, they are naturally both very attractive, as is everyone else in the cast.
Everyone in HJNTIY also is very attractive but that doesn't stop Jennifer Anniston, Ben Affleck and sundry from drowning in angst. We have 5 women in various categories : single, living with someone, married, slut and flake.
The single woman wants a man (any man), the shacked-up one wants a wedding ring, the wife wants perfect bathroom tile and a baby - apparently in that order, the slut wants someone else's husband, and the flake will settle for a 'real' rather than a virtual date.
Their behavior? Endless analysis, whining, spying, and stalking. The women are so uniformly annoying that by the end of the movie, I was completely on the men's side.
The ending? The single woman (very improbably) gets a guy, the wife dumps her husband, not for cheating but for smoking (a worse sin perhaps in our PC world?). Jennifer Anniston gets her ring, the slut gets a singing gig, and the flake (the most sympathetic character in my opinion) gets a relationship.
What do the men get? Not clear.
What does this have to do with women and money - the theme of this blog? Nowhere, by any of these women, is there any discussion of self-reliance, independence, savings and planning, or an exploration of finding fulfillment via a challenging and interesting career. Its all about the guy - finding, pursuing and getting him.
It stings to see the way popular culture stereotypes women. Maybe this movie bothers me because I am now single and recognize some of this behavior in myself and my friends? Could be. No criticism hurts as much as one with a grain of truth in it. All I can say is this single is going back to PBS for a while ...
Veena Kutler
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Veena: You are too hard on yourself. You've done a great job of achieving "self-reliance, independence, savings and planning, or an exploration of finding fulfillment via a challenging and interesting career." I can't comment on whether there is a grain of truch in your life regarding: "It's all about the guy - finding, pursuing and getting him," but I seriously doubt that you are "all about [a] guy." You are an inspiration for people who want to see women running their own firms. Thanks for the otherwise very insightful review of the movie, one that I will certainly skip watching.
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